Shake Hands

My son plays for the Philadelphia Generals Mite/Squirt Patriot team.

Once again he recently made me think about things in an entirely different and positive way. My hope is that it makes you think that way too.

A couple of weekends ago we were playing at a local rink and it was a very competitive game. This is a little embarrassing to say but yes, Coach John and Coach Kerry found themselves raising their voices to the referees, disagreeing with many of their calls….. (Mite hockey, I know….not good….) The game ended and both teams shook hands as well as did the coaches and the referees.

On the way home my son said to me, “Dad, shaking hands at the end of the game is good.”
I inquired, “What do you mean?”
Cade said, “Well, after all the hard work and all the yelling and excitement, once we all shake hands at the end of the game it feels good…. it feels finished….it feels like it is time to go home….even you, coach John and the refs were friends again…..”

After a couple of years of these observations I now find myself looking for a deeper meaning of his musings. They are becoming ever easier to find.

I began thinking, how many times in life should we just shake hands and move on to the next game? We are all human beings and there are always times in life when we just won’t see things the same way and disagree vehemently on issues. I guess getting older, I now realize there is one side, the other side, and the truth usually lies somewhere in the middle. Whether it has been in business or family or even with friends, I know I have been guilty of not being able to shake hands, move on and live for the future the way I really should have. We have all been guilty of that. There really has been a lot of wasted negative energy. I wish there are things I could have done differently as I am sure you feel the same way.

Recently, there has been a lot of local coverage of the upcoming Winter Classic Hockey Game and Alumni Hockey Game being held here in Philadelphia. One of the interesting storylines of the game is that Bob Clarke and Eric Lindros will be participating in the game together and the implied mending of the fences of their supposed rocky relationship. If you are a hockey fan you have probably heard all the story lines and history of what had happened or supposedly happened. Who really knows and it really is not that important anymore.
I had the pleasure of playing for Bob when he was a General Manager with the Flyers and also playing with Eric on the same team for a season. They are both fiercely intense and bona fide Hockey Hall of Fame caliber hockey greats. They played extremely hard, and they apparently had extremely rigid differences of opinions at times. But guess what? It took some time but it looks like they shook hands and have agreed to move on to a more positive way. At one time both were captains and considered exceptional leaders. It looks like they still are.

Ok, now moving back from the Greats to the Mites.
My son and I were watching the news the other night during dinner and there was coverage of our military engaged in some battle in Afghanistan. He looked at me and asked, “Dad, those guys have Generals, we are Generals….why can’t they be just like us, shake hands like we do, end it, and everyone go home????”  

There are some conflicts that can’t be settled with a hand shake but most of ours can and should be. In the end most of them are really not that important.
So shake hands, because like my son said, “it feels good…. it feels finished….it feels like it is time to go home….”

Give Thanks for Good Coaches!

Thanksgiving-Webster’s Dictionary

	1.	The act of rending thanks, or expressing gratitude for favors or mercies.
	2.	A public acknowledgment or celebration of divine goodness.

As you probably know with this blog, I get a lot of my material from my son’s mite team, some former players and just from random thoughts that come into my head. (Scary, I know…) Being Thanksgiving week, I thought I would reach out and lean on a group of hockey people that we all should all be thankful for. After all this time I realize how grateful and thankful I am to all the people who coached me up along the way!!!

Coaches are fascinating individuals. I have played for ones that I loved. Ones I feared. Ones I hated at points but after time, pretty much respected them all. Many of them have a gift to be able to focus with extreme intensity on the current day, how to prepare and are meticulous planners. They know how to motivate and how to strategize to get the best results out of a group of highly talented individuals. They can knock you down to toughen you up and also pick you up when you have stumbled or been beaten down. Coaches do a lot for a team and can make or break a hockey season. Without question.
They are also very human and when they get time to take a deep breath and think about things, are a lot like the rest of us. They are also very similar to each other regardless of the level they coach at.
I reached out to a few local coaches from all levels and asked them two questions appropriate for this upcoming Thanksgiving weekend and this time of year.
“Coach, what are you most thankful for as a coach?” and, “What are you most thankful for as a person?”

Make sure if you have a young hockey player, have them read these answers. I only asked a few but there are thousands of mentors like them all over the country. Take note how little emphasis there is on winning and losing but on other more important things. Not one of them even mentions the words win or lose……Great Stuff!

Riley Cote-Assistant Coach- Adirondack Phantoms- American Hockey League: "I’d have to say I am so thankful for the Flyers for giving me an opportunity to coach with the phantoms and help develop young players and guide young men to become the best they can be. I am most thankful to have learned what true health really is."

Bob Prior-Head Coach Princeton University-Division 1 ECAC: "As a coach I am thankful for the opportunity to educate young men that are driven to get better, I am thankful for the opportunity to be in a profession that I have a great passion for, I am awfully lucky.  There is a tremendous sense of fulfillment in working with these young men in watching them grow both as players and as people.As a person I am thankful for my family and friends everyday, I love the people that I am surrounded by on a daily basis and am excited every day that I wake up.  I learn from my family, friends, and student athletes daily and I am thankful they are in my life."

Guy Gadowsky- Head Coach Penn State University Division 1: "As a coach I am grateful for great goaltending and as a person I am grateful for a great wife, both can make life a lot better!"
Randy Walker- NJ Junior Titans: "As a coach, I am thankful that I am still involved in this great game and get to watch both my sons build lasting relationships and memories like I did as a player.As a person, I am thankful for my wife and kids and the love (and time) we have to share with our family & friends.
Happy Thanksgiving!"

Jeremy Hall- Team Comcast u-16 AAA: "As a coach, I am thankful to be given the opportunity to work with high level hockey players and have a chance to impact their lives through this great sport. As a person, I am thankful to have a wonderful wife and beautiful little boy to share everything with."

Roman Bussetti-Team Comcast Squirt Team: "As a coach I am thankful for the knowledge and understanding that the lord has granted me to teach and instruct this great game.As a person I am thankful for the well-being of my family, my friends and myself."

John Seravalli-Coach of The Philadelphia Generals Select Mite Powerhouse Team (our team..): "I am thankful to be able to help players become better people first then better hockey players. There is nothing more rewarding as a coach when an ex-player comes back years later and thanks you for helping them to become a good person on and off the ice.  I am thankful to my parents who gave me an opportunity to play sports and get a good education so that I now can help others."

This is a weekend to express how much we are thankful for. Make sure you do. Thank your coaches. Often they don’t get the recognition they deserve. Deep down they are great people as evidenced by those answers.

Remember their answers and at some point this weekend, step away from hockey and focus on being thankful for the following regardless of your win loss record.

1.      Your health

2.      Your family

3.      Your friends

4.      Your great country you live in

5.      Your ability to lean and rely on hockey when you need to.(and of course....great coaches!!!!)

We are all blessed!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

First Timers and Old Timers-One and the Same

Thank you to all the Philadelphia Flyer Alumni guys who took the time to get back to me and help me out with content for this week. Super guys and a phenomenal group to be associated with and as always, thanks to our Mite team.

It is a wonderful time of year. There is hockey everywhere. We are only weeks away from the Winter Classic game that is getting so much attention around this area and it seems like there are good NHL games on TV every night. With all the negative news recently in sports it is great to be in the heart of a hockey season.
While watching a Philadelphia Flyers game with my son Caden the other night I began to think of some other things to write about. Sitting there enjoying the game and his company, he asked me, “Dad, what do you miss most about hockey? Not like the guys you played with or the great fun you had and all that stuff I hear you talk about..…. What do you really miss about the actual game and playing??”
Wow. This from an eight year old. I had to think for a while and then I told him, “Cade, I just really miss the feeling of gliding along the ice at a speed I know I will never go again.”

Then like a normal parent, I turned the tables and asked him, “What do you love about playing hockey?” He said Dad, “I really love when I try to shoot the puck at a spot and it goes there….it feels great! …… and I love going to Chickie’s and Pete’s (our local sports bar) for chicken wings after practice….” Again, one of those moments that just made me smile for a long time.
I was so deep in thought after our little exchange. I had our two opinions but then felt the need to get more. I decided to ask my son’s Mite team the same question I asked him and ask my friends from the Philadelphia Flyers Alumni the same question he asked me. No one knew what I was doing or looking for, I just simply asked them to answer those questions.
Here are the results for you to enjoy. Remember some of these people are only separated by about 50 years…..But look at how close the answers are. I love it. I just took ten answers from each group and matched them up as best I could. The similarities are remarkable. It really is a great game.

Mite #1: “I like when the ice is all clean and we go out skating on it for the first time. We go fast…”
Flyer Alumni #1 Kevin Dineen: “There was always no better feeling than being the first guy on that clean smooth sheet of ice and having that building to yourself, just skating around and shooting pucks.”

Mite  #2: “I love it when a teammate passes to me and I score a goal……”
Flyer Alumni #2 Mark Freer: “I miss the tic tac toe of the puck in the games and practice.  There is nothing better than going down the ice in practice and zipping the puck around hard and fast hearing that smack as the puck goes from one stick to another.”

Mite #3: “l love right at the first faceoff when we are getting ready to play a game and it is exciting…..”
Flyer Alumni #3 Mark Howe and Chris Therien: “What I miss the most about playing is the energy that flows through your body as the national anthem is being sung and the building is coming alive. The anticipation and excitement of the contest ahead.” Mark Howe
“I really loved being at a faceoff and looking up realizing you we're a member of the greatest league on the planet! The fans the scoreboard the noise....great feeling I truly miss!
Chris Therien

Mite 4: “I love going so fast on my skates…..”
Flyer Alumni #4 Kerry Huffman: “Cade, I just really miss the feeling of gliding along the ice at a speed I know I will never go again.”

Mite #5: “I like when it is a close game and then we win…….”
Flyer Alumni #5 Keith Primeau:" I miss coming to the rink in the spring for playoff hockey.
I miss the feeling of a big win and celebrating with my teammates, the close ones were the best”

Mite #6: “I love it when we score more goals than the other team and then we end up winning, it is awesome….”
Flyer Alumni #6 Bill Clement: “I actually miss the feeling of exhaustion after a shift. Also after a game, but only when we won. That feeling wasn't any good after a loss.”

Mite #7: “it is fun to see us play really good…..like we were taught…..”
Flyer Alumni #7 Keith Jones: “I miss my seat in the middle of the bench. Sad that I'll never to be able to purchase a seat with such a great view!!!!”

Mite #8: “What I love about hockey is standing in front of Sydney, our goalie, like coach Kerry told me to and blocking a shot by the other team, popping it off the boards to one of my teammates who take it up the ice and score.  The team gets a goal and I get an assist”!!
Flyer Alumni #8 Reggie Leach: “The most I miss about playing is getting a great pass from Bobby Clarke and letting a slap shot go from top of circle hitting the far corner of the net. Great assist, great goal…”

Mite #9: “I love scoring goals!!!!!
Flyer Alumni #9 Brian Propp: “I miss the excitement of scoring goals and doing the “Guffaw”.  I miss the intensity of playing playoff hockey and the focus on every game for the ultimate goal of the Stanley Cup.

I saved the best one for last.

 

Mite #10: “We do cool things on the weekend, sometimes after hockey we go to McDonalds!!!”
Flyer Alumni #10 Ed Hospodar: “I loved traveling and being with my Dad on game day. Yep, my Dad that’s what I loved and miss most about not playing hockey. Time with my Dad and having him watch me.”

Me too Ed.

Well said guys! Both teams!!!!!

All hockey players age but their hearts remain young……. and sometimes blogs write themselves….

Rookies and Veterans

Hockey just isn’t that important today.

Maybe I look at things a bit differently now knowing that my oldest son has committed to serve in the armed forces for this great country. It doesn’t even need to be said. I couldn’t be more proud of him.

In the hockey world, this time of year there is always talk of how impressive the Rookies are.  Today it is not about the Rookies it is about the Veterans. The important Veterans……

I hope everyone can have the opportunity to say thank you today to a member of our armed services. Current or former.

Whether you are American or Canadian, please take time away from hockey and sports to reflect and think about the true heroes of our countries. Not someone who got a hat trick last night or scored a game winning goal.
Heroes who give us the freedom and ability to enjoy hockey and all the other things we take for granted.

It is so easy to get caught up in our day to day lives and focus on scores, highlights and how our teams and young players are doing.  Just remember though that we are all part of a team that is fighting for something way more important than a playoff spot.

There are daily injury reports that are not putting players on a 7 to 10 day unable to perform list. There are members of our team every day going on an injured reserve list that will last forever….Remember that. Be grateful for their sacrifice. Be thankful for their service and if you can let one of our players know that, make sure you do. These are people who are not looking for a new contract, a highlight on Sportscenter or a scholarship. They are usually just appreciative of a warm thank you. A lot of them deserve our support now and will really need it when they are no longer in the service.

So today, let’s stop for a moment focusing on the horrifying story involving Penn State University and all the other negative news stories and spend some time thinking about the positive role models and people who secure our freedom every day. Rarely are they in front of a camera defending or explaining themselves. They just do their jobs and make sure we can go about doing ours every day.

There is always the weekend to go back to our mite games, our junior games, our pro games and all the fun that goes with it.

But today and every day, remember who really the true All Stars in this world are.

The Winter Classic and Thin Ice

I know that this Blog is usually all about fun and all the great and humorous things about hockey but some weeks are tougher than others…….

This past weekend at our local rink I ran into Philadelphia Flyer legend Bob ‘The Hound’ Kelly. We were catching up and chatting about the upcoming Winter Classic Game being held at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia as well as the Alumni game being held a day or two before it. All the while my 8 year old son Caden was listening and digesting the information. As we got into the car to go home after our Mite game, Cade asked me, “Dad, is that Classic game and the Alumni game being held on the ice outside?”
I said, “Yes of course, why?”
He responded, “Big trouble, I have seen how big the Alumni guys are…….they are going to fall thru the ice……”
Once again the little guy made me laugh harder and longer than I have in a long time. He also made me think….
With just under two months to go, we are in dire need of a Winter Classic. It is truly a great event that reminds us of how special the game of hockey is, played in its simplest form outside in a cold environment.
The way hockey was originally meant to be played. The NHL should be proud.
It hasn’t been a great time in Pennsylvania for sports recently. Our Phillies went out of playoffs much too early. Our Eagles have been less than ‘a Dream Team’ and of course the horrifying story that has come out of Penn State University concerning a football coach and his alleged sexual abuse of young children that he was supposed to be helping.
Now I know that no one has been found guilty of anything but typically a grand jury and twelve accusers don’t come forward after a three year investigation with over 70 charges of misconduct against an innocent person and the cover up that followed unless they have a lot of evidence.  It is just so hard to comprehend but it is also a story that gives us all a wakeup call and a lesson about trust and parenting.
In my current job I deal with a lot of parents and young players in search of the dream of playing hockey at a very high level. Along the way young players leave home very early and also travel with people to showcase events and tournaments that parents and families trust, sometimes blindly. Canadian hockey has had some very tragic and storied incidents of sexual abuse of young children and players. It is important that we teach the basic rules of life to our children and equip them with the necessary skills that are needed to survive and thrive in this environment.  We need to teach our kids about confidence, what is right, what is inappropriate and keep a very open line of communication so that they are not afraid to tell us about anything. Good and bad. 

As hockey grows at an incredibly rapid rate in the United States we should be aware of what we are doing in the search of 'the dream' concerning our kids. Get to know your coaches. Get to know your billets. Trust that hockey is a great game but also question the credentials and worthiness of our coaches, billets and chaperones.

The good news is that 99 percent of the people your child comes in contact with, (teachers, coaches, mentors and fellow parents), will be good people who want to help your child grow and become a better player and person.  But reality has told us to arm our children with the tools they need to “thwart” that 1 percent that intends evil.  We have to for our kids' sake.

We can’t let them fall thru the ice……..